Dogma Days of Summer

How to Make a Movie in 48 Hours or Less

by John Meadows

Ten teams max. Ten members max. Ten minutes max. Forty-eight hours to write, shoot and post a short film. Max. Welcome to the dog days of August 1999, where on the hottest weekend of the summer I found myself and nine others on an adrenaline-inducing, nose-to-the-grindstone, fly-by-the-seat-of-yer-pants film-making adventure. The contest was called the "Forty-Eight Hour Movie-making Competition," and it's modus operandi was simple: You got two days to get it in the can, baby. Go shoot that puppy. I'd heard of competitions similar to this one and I'd made it a point to rabidly avoid them. My reasoning was simple: A) I don't like stress. B) I like sleep. But 48 Hours to conceive, shoot and complete all the post-production for a no-budget short film? Impossible. Pointless. Ulcer-promoting. I flagged this competition on my list of "Not to Do's", along with javelin tag and internships with Joel Silver. So how did I end up getting cajoled into what amounted to a two day torture session? A chance to direct. What else? THE RULES To ensure creative spontaneity, Spin Cycle Productions - the organizers of this sadistic event assigned each team an "Inspiration Package;" a list of items to be used in the creation of the 48 hour masterpieces. These items were: 1) a location 2) a sound bite 3) a photograph 4) a surprise 5) a craft services donation. At 6PM on Friday, August 20, each team would then send two representatives to the house of Spin Cycle co-founder Kathleen Duborg to pick up their Inspiration Packages. Each crew then had until 6PM on Sunday, August 22 to submit a VHS copy of their ten minute film. The gala screening would be held one week later at Performance Works on Granville Island, where awards would be given out and/or humiliation would ensue. Friday, August 20, 1999 - 6PM - Waterloo Street, Kitsilano I arrive at Kathleen Duborg's with our producer, Peta Brookstone. Peta has become the defacto producer of our team because no one else wants to do it. Plus she's the kind of gal who always gets what she wants. Plus she has a great condo. Plus all the men on our crew want to sleep with her. Even the gay ones. If that isn't a position of power, I don't know what is. The Spin Cycle team begins beckoning one crew at a time into Kathy's house to hand out Inspiration Packages. Peta and I check out our competition. Most of them seem to know exactly what they are doing. Some of the crews even have digital cameras and laptop computers on hand, powered up and ready to go. All Peta and I have on hand are Slurpees. Finally, it's our turn. Kathy hands us a bundle of oddly shaped, sealed manila envelopes - our Inspiration Package. She wishes us good luck as we bolt out the door. The clock is ticking.

7:00PM - Nelson Street, West End

We race to Peta's condo and tear open our Inspiration Package. Our film must contain the following: 1) Wally's Burgers on Kingsway. (Location) 2) Irish Drinking Songs. (Sound bite) 3) A little boy smoking a pipe. (Photograph) 4) Tequila and a lemon. (Surprise item) 5) A delightful pasta salad is our craft services donation. Peta and I are pleased. Our inspiration package ain't so bad. If worse comes to worst, we can drink the tequila and dance the 48 hours away to Irish jigs and reels. Our team begins to arrive. Nancy Baye, the blond bombshell of the group, is the first to arrive and immediately begins to panic. "We'll never get this done in time!!" she shrieks, waving her gangly arms in the air like Grover from Sesame Street. She calms down when she sees the tequila. My brother Jeff, a tower of thespian power in red hair and freckles, arrives along with his comedian buddy, Toby Berner, who has just decided to tag along for fun. They are carrying an extremely large amount of beer. Evidently "substance abuse" has officially been added to our Inspiration Package. Lisa Stewart and France Perras, the divas of our team, are next to bluster into the condo, full of vim, vigour and "hello dahlings." They are armed with a large bottle of rum and nine souvlaki orders from Stepho's on Davie. As we sit down to eat the Greek, we begin tossing ideas about the room. Unfortunately, we run out of ideas before we run out tzatziki.

9:00PM

We are drunk out of our minds, reeking of garlic and dancing to Irish jigs. David Lean used to work this way, I'm certain.

10:00PM

Our star power arrives. Dimitry Chepovesky, straight from the Mission to Mars set, saunters into the condo and is promptly disgusted at our behaviour. "Where is your professionalism?!" he bellows. "We are on a timeline here, people!!"

11:00PM

Dimitry Chepovesky, cocktail in hand, is dancing on the couch and singing showtunes with the girls. Jeff, Toby and I are outside abusing substances. No one has a clue what our movie will be about. The only thing we know for certain is that when the sun rises tomorrow, we have to start shooting a movie.

1:00AM

We have our first wild flurry of inspiration: our movie will be a parody of Citizen Kane entitled CITIZEN WALLY, a mockumentary about an Irish hamburger mogul, Wally O'Connell. Because of his resemblance to the young pipe-smoking boy in our inspiration photo, we cast Toby as Wally. Here he was just "tagging along" and now Toby is our leading man. We decide to use the Irish Drinking songs liberally throughout our soundtrack, not just as a sound bite. Then we decide that the tequila bottle and the lemon will appear in every single shot and will somehow figure in Wally's death - a kind of Cuervo version of "Rosebud." With the points of the Inspiration Package covered, Jeff, Toby and I begin hammering out dialogue for the opening scene. Dimitry and the gals begin rehearsing musical numbers in the living room. Apparently our ten-minute opus will feature not one, but three musical numbers.

3:00AM

We are on the balcony finishing off the last of the beer and rum and singing the theme from "The Rescuers." At this point, no one has yet figured out how to work the digital camera.

Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 9:00AM

All Over Vancouver, our team begins scamming props, costumes and whatever else we need from unsuspecting friends and relatives. We hear through the grapevine that one of the other crews has already completed principal photography. Peta and I look at each other and cringe. We are so dead.

11:00AM - Kingsway Street, East Vancouver.

We arrive at the world famous Wally's Burgers, home to a towering neon WALLY sign and some of the tastiest patties you'll find anywhere. It is here where we hit our first hurdle. The manager of Wally's Burgers refuses to let us film inside the restaurant. "Weekends are too busy," he shrugs. Hmmm. That's not good. What were we thinking? That they would let us jump in behind the grill to film? Serve the customers with bad Irish accents? After a quick pow wow, we convince the manager to let us film in the parking lot, waaaaay off in the corner.

1:00PM

During the busy weekend lunch rush we film several scenes, including a rather large musical number, in the parking lot. Jeff and Toby are displaying brilliant comic timing as the two Irish brothers. I'm worried about the sound. Kingsway is big truck central and every take we do has an eighteen-wheeler barreling by. We are gathering quite a crowd of gawkers, and the manager is getting anxious. At one point he accosts Toby and threatens to throw us off the property. The ever-cool Toby calls to us over his shoulder, "Gang, I think that's a wrap."

2:00PM - The Streets of Vancouver

We pile into our various vehicles and floor it down Kingsway in a wild re-enactment of the Pod Race from The Phantom Menace. Peta is busy driving, putting lipstick on, and talking on her cell phone all at the same time. As my life flashes before my eyes, I try to relax and pray that our footage is turning out. We zoom through downtown and over the Lion's Gate Bridge, keeping in contact via cell phone with the other crew members speeding ahead of us. We improvise our next few scenes and even have a "cellular rehearsal."

3:30PM - Rockridge Avenue, West Vancouver

Our destination is Lisa's parents house in West Van where we plan to shoot scenes of Wally's life after he's made millions selling burgers made of cheap beef from England. Being raised in East Van, the Stewart residence is the kind of house we used to drive by with our parents and go, "Woooooooo". Lisa's parents welcome us with open arms and refreshing beverages. It is the opposite of Wally's Burgers on Kingsway.

5:00PM

Our first shot at the Stewart compound is a gigantic hand-held tracking shot straight out of a Scorsese movie. (Or for you younger kids, a P.T. Anderson movie.) In one long seamless shot we follow our two feuding Irish Brothers out of a borrowed convertible BMW in the driveway, down a huge brick staircase, into the Stewart mansion, through the foyer and into the living room where we end up on our second musical number; a hamburger version of "I Wish I Was A Rich Man". To make things even more complicated, as we dolly into the living room from outside, the camera crew all have to take their shoes off while we're rolling because the carpets are made of cashmere and cannot be tread upon with mucky shoes. We nail it in three takes. Later, in editing, I have to chop up our uber-shot because it's way too long. We always kill the things we love.

6:00PM

When you only have 48 hours to make a movie, things like "meal penalties" and "union breaks" take on, shall we say, special meanings. We film our dinner break and make it part of the movie. 8PM Another musical number, another massive tracking shot. With Dimitry belting out a hilarious version of "Hello, Wally," the camera follows him through several rooms until we arrive at a pool table where Toby, as Wally, has to sink the eight ball on cue. (Did I just say eight ball on cue? Somebody smack me.) 9PM It's time to kill off our lead. Wally, drunk on tequila, falls into the unheated pool and drowns. It takes several takes to get it right, after which we all agree that the shivering Toby looks dead sexy with blue lips.

10:00PM

Our leading ladies steal the show. Raiding the costume room upstairs, (Costume room?! Who can afford a costume room in their house?!) Nancy, Lisa, Peta and France put on a comedy clinic playing Wally's ex-wives who are hell bent on getting his inheritance. France Perras brings the house down with a bit of shtick involving a Thighmaster and a wig that defies description.

11:00PM

Exhaustion and frustration set in. We are in the dining room trying to film the reading of Wally's will. After several attempts at blocking, it's getting pretty obvious that whatever it is we're doing just isn't working. The cast is getting on my case. "Just shoot this puppy" seems to be the consensus. I keep telling them that the scene is not working from my side of the lens. Then the microphone starts to go on the fritz. Not good. Finally, we just put everyone on the same side of the table, shoot some basic coverage, and get the hell out of the dining room before someone blows a gasket.

Sunday, August 22, 1999 - 1:00AM

The hot tub scene. After the tension of the dining room, dunking the cast in a hot tub comes not a moment too soon. (A bit of advice for all you blossoming film-makers out there; When in trouble, shoot a hot tub scene.) The cast nails this scene in two takes. I hinge the shot to the moon over English Bay. I turn to Toby. He smiles. "Gang, that's a wrap." Wild cheers and hugs. Now Peta and I have got seventeen hours to finish the post-production. Piece of cake. We decide to go to a party down the road near Lighthouse Park, just for a quick drink or two.

4:00AM - Barclay Street, West End

I arrive back home downtown, staggering drunk, with the realization that there is no such thing as a quick drink or two with the cast of CITIZEN WALLY. I look at the digital tapes strewn everywhere and realize we have way too much footage to cut down to ten minutes. I look at my watch. Peta is picking me up a 9:30AM to meet with our editor. I figure I can get a rough cut done by then to save us time on the Avid. I make coffee and get to work.

9:15AM

I finish a rough cut and go to bed.

9:30AM

Peta buzzes downstairs. Hell hath no fury like a punctual producer.

10:00AM Pender Street, Chinatown

Peta and I head down to Chinatown to the industrial-sized studio loft of Dale Darlington. It's the kind of place you'd either kill for, or wouldn't be caught dead in. We show Dale the rough cut. An embarrassing silence follows. I can tell what he's thinking: "I gave up my Sunday for cheesy musical numbers about hamburgers..." Dale begins chain-smoking and gets to work.

3:00PM

Dale Darlington is my new personal hero. He has done wonders with our footage. The film now zips along with pep and energy. The soundtrack is amazing. In addition to his film and video work, Dale also makes albums, scores films, builds educational programs for Central American countries, and fences. The man is basically a genius. As we work, Peta and I discover that Dale also has a gentle, dry humour that keeps us relaxed and smiling.

4:00PM

We finish dubbing copies of CITIZEN WALLY onto VHS. High-fives abound. Peta and I make little giggling noises as we do The Done Dance. When we finish bounding about like excited children, I get the distinct impression that Dale wants us to leave now.

5:00PM - Nelson Street, West End

Since we have an hour to spare we stop in at her condo for a quick cast and crew screening of CITIZEN WALLY. Everybody laughs their heads off, and not just from embarrassment. Our brash little bastard of a film actually works.

6:00PM - Waterloo Street, Kitsilano

We arrive at Kathy Duborg's house at 6PM on the dot, with our prized VHS tape in hand. Kathy takes one look at our bloodshot eyes and gives us each a big, big hug. We've done it. The puppy is in the can.

Sunday, August 29 - Performance Works, Granville Island

With several hundred people crammed into Performance Works for the Gala Screening, CITIZEN WALLY wins two awards including the top prize of the evening, the Audience Award. We get to make speeches and everything. In my speech I thank whomever it was that gave us the tequila bottle, completely forgetting to thank my parents who were sitting in the audience. Oops. Not surprisingly, the cast and crew of CITIZEN WALLY spend the rest of the evening getting really drunk and dancing the night away. Ah, show biz.


back to stories